February 03, 2010


  • When I felt the need to do this I didn’t think twice

  • I was so stoned that it was too hard to imagine,

  • Yet I felt I had to do this for something I had to realize,

  • Time has come for me to break free and bask in sunshine

  • It’s a thought, a thought ones mind has to capture

  • It feels unreal and yet it gets to my head so fast.

  • In this feeling I drift away and I can’t help but rapture,

  • It has all come back to me once again this life of my past.

  • So how did I decide to do what I did? Why did I choose to think about whatever I wanted to do? After a lot of introspection I came to a conclusion. A conclusion that made me go back to square one and ask myself a million other questions. Questions that always scraped my mind several times, made me think even more, think harder than before. I started to realize a lot of things had happened in a certain way that I never imagined them to. It turned out that my belief in myself had strengthened but I had lost the passion to dream. A passion which had been the secret of survival throughout my life. This passion was the only thing I had had up until now.

  • So let me rethink what I want to do now. I want to figure out a whole lot of things which I believe I should have done long ago. A fresh perspective is what I’m looking for. I also believed in my inner strength, to help me through situations that I had never come across. Sometimes it becomes so difficult for you to trust that inner self of yours and it is so overwhelming that the fear, the insecurity that lies inside of you, casts a huge shadow over your achievements till now. It questions your ability, your belief and your hunger for everything you had so far. This lack of trust compels you to sell yourself short most of the times. Then comes a time when you think, how? How do I break out of this thought?

  • A lot of times we have every reason to believe certain abilities that we have, yet a lot of times we are faced with reasonable doubt. A doubt that does not let you break away, let loose or fight the inner self. These are times when we start thinking, start telling ourselves to look for a comfortable place for ourselves. With these myriad feelings inside of us, we have this confusion that seeks to destroy every little ounce of faith inside our hearts.

  • So when I do break out of this I know what will help me is that question. A question that I need to ask myself. Am I where I want to be? So how did I decide to do what I did? Why did I choose to think about whatever I wanted to do? Then just let loose….

  • © Copyright 2008 Srini. All rights reserved

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